Archive for May 2008

Bill Bryson

26. May 2008 by Crys.

With only a few minutes to spare before dinner, and having seen the score of today’s game trawl by in a ticker, I am using my limited time to share this excerpt, saving myself from the disturbing investigation into the cause of our beloved team’s recent distress. I am loathe to recant or relent in my World Series predictions. I don’t know how bad the news is and why find out and potentially ruin my vacation…

—————–

It had been an odd fall, especially for my dad. My father, you see, was the best baseball writer of his generation–he really was–and in the fall of 1960, I believe he proved it. At a time when most sportswriting was leaden or read as if written by enthusiastic but minimally gifted fourteen-year-olds, he wrote prose that was thoughtful, stylish, and comparatively sophisticated. “Neat but not gaudy,” he would always say, with a certain flourish of satisfaction, as he pulled the last sheet out of the typewriter. No one could touch him at writing against a deadline, and on October 13, 1960, at the World Series in Pittsburgh, he put the matter beyond possible dispute.

The series ended with one of those dramatic moments that baseball seemed to specialize in in those days: Bill Mazeroski of Pittsburgh hit a home run in the ninth inning that snatched triumph from the Yankees and handed it miraculously and unexpectedly to the lowly Pirates. Virtually all the papers in the country reported the news in the same soberly uninspired tones. Here, for instance, is the opening paragraph of the story that ran on page one of The New York Times the next morning:

The Pirates today brought Pittsburgh its first world series baseball championship in thirty-five years when Bill Mazeroski slammed a ninth-inning home run high over the left-field wall of historic Forbes Field.

And here is what people in Iowa read:

The most hallowed piece of property in Pittsburgh baseball history left Forbes Field late Thursday afternoon under a dirty gray sports jacket and with a police escort. That, of course, was home plate, where Bill Mazeroski completed his electrifying home run while Umpire Bill Jackowski, broad back braced and arms spread, held off the mob long enough for Bill to make it legal.

Pittsburgh’s steel mills couldn’t have made more noise than the crowd in this ancient park did when Mazeroski smashed Yankee Ralph Terry’s second pitch of the ninth inning. By the time the ball sailed over the ivy-colored brick wall, the rush from the stands had begun and these sudden madmen threatened to keep Maz from touching the plate with the run that beat the lordly Yankees, 10-9, for the title.

Bear in mind that the story was written not at leisure but amid the din and distraction of a crowded press box in the immediate whooping aftermath of the game. Nor could a single thought or neat phrase (like “broad back braced and arms spread”) have been prepared in advance and casually dropped into the text. Since Mazeroski’s home run rudely upended a nation’s confident expectations of a victory by “the lordly Yankees,” every sportswriter present had to discard whatever he’d had in mind to say, even one batter earlier, and start afresh. Search as you will, you won’t find a better World Series game report on file anywhere, unless it was another of my dad’s.

Note: Of course, it’s possible I overstate things–this is my father, after all–but if so it is not entirely a private opinion. In 2000, writing in the Columbia Journalism Review, Michael Gartner, a former president of NBC News who grew up in Des Moines wrote that my father, the original Bill Bryson, “may have been the best baseball writer ever, anywhere.”

From “The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid” by Bill Bryson (the younger).

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Pinch Me!

21. May 2008 by Crys.

I’ve been telling my friends for the last week that we were going to crush the Ys this series, but WOW!

I’m busy packing for a vacation, so I paused the television so that I could watch the game after I was done deliberating what to leave behind in order to squeeze everything into one measly bag. (I’m an American female, this is so unfair!) While I wasn’t chaperoning the television, the naughty thing changed the channel. Apparently we have two programs set to record at eight o’clock (American Idol Finale and Nova (of course)). My husband, wonderful man that he is, alerted me to the crisis and gave me a choice, cancel Nova or forego watching the game. “Uh…uh…uh…” I stammered.

I decided to log into the MLB audio and when I did, I discovered the score as of the second inning. Naughty, naughty television for depriving me of seeing a nine to nothing lead in the second inning!

Am I dead? “But I still go to work every day,” I answered my own question. Maybe heaven isn’t the perfect utopia we imagine. Maybe that would be boring and depressing. Maybe it’s the struggles, the challenges big and small that keep us awake and pushing ourselves, the fleeting victories that give us a temporary feeling of satisfaction, the feeling of appreciation that comes in between the exhaustion of the rest of it, maybe that’s where heaven lies.

I don’t know. I only know this is sweet for as long as it lasts. Sweet just the other side of heaven.

As I typed the last sentence, Kevin Millar hit a solo to make the score 10-0, and just a moment ago Cabrera beaned Jeter hard enough to send him out of the game.

Remind me. Who was meant to be in last this season, and who was meant to go to the World Series?

I have to return to packing now. If you find an eerie silence emanating from this url, look for me at Nomadic Traveler for the next week. I’ll leave it a mystery as to where we’re going, mostly because I know very little. My husband has planned some secret, surprise adventure. I love surprises, and I love vacations. I love this game! I love this team! I hope there is a heaven and I hope it’s this good.

Posted in All is Right, 2008 Season | Print | 1 Comment »

Os vs. Nationals

17. May 2008 by Crys.

I loved everything about tonight’s game, even though I didn’t see all that much of it…

My husband isn’t feeling good, so earlier this afternoon I promised to bake him chocolate chip cookies. (At the risk of sounding obnoxious, my cookies are pretty special. My secret that I share with no one, but will share with you because I love my Orioles blogger friends and appreciate you for tolerating me, is that I add macademia nuts and substitute Kahlua for vanilla.)

Around eight o’clock, I was deeply engrossed in the game when my husband came downstairs and asked in both a plaintive and pitiful voice, “So you changed your mind about baking cookies?”

“I’m an awful and selfish wife,” I thought to myself, so I set about making cookies, running back into the living room to rewind when I heard cheering. Thanks to the wonderful invention of the DVR, I saw the important moments including Luke Scott’s homer, but generally missed everything in between. I sat down to watch Jimmy Johnson’s outstanding pitching, and the ninth with Sherrill but completely missed the Orioles batting.

What I loved about tonight’s game is not just that we won. Oh yes, that was nice too, but I was particularly tickled with the whole Nationals/Orioles thing. I had fun flipping between MASN and MASN2 to see the exact same thing. (I’m very easily entertained.) Early in the game, I wondered, “So the Nationals fans will have to listen to Palmer?” but then the Nationals announcers took over the play-by-play. I enjoyed listening to the commentary between the announcers and hearing them take turns in the broadcast booth.

I’m jealous of the fans in Baltimore. How lucky they are to be able to pop downtown to see the Os whenever they want. And if the whim strikes them to see a National League game, they can mix things up by taking the train down to D.C. Being a native Baltimoron, it’s easy to choose the Nationals as my National League team, and for the first time I have an interest in that other league. It’s a brave, new, lovely world.

Here’s one more thing. I think Jim Palmer is one of my readers! Or, I’m just really, really smart. I think we can all agree that’s not the case. Let’s face it, I’ll never provide you the quality, balanced game wrap-up that you can get from those links over there on the left. (Exemplia gratia, this recent Mindpinball post, Dempey’s Army’s letter to Brad Mills or Wayward O’s the hOuse that ruth built (with priceless quotes like, “sprinkle entire body with OLD BAY SEASONING to CHASE AWAY NASTY SPIRITS,” which I have memorized and share with friends of mine from Baltimore because it is so funny.)

Still, Palmer agrees with me. In the ninth, when Sherrill was pitching, Palmer compared him to Don Stanhouse. Now, what have I been saying all season! I feel so brilliant. And special. Yes, I’ve heard that a lot in my life, that I’m “special.”

Perhaps it’s time. I think I’m ready to stage a coup against Amber Theoharis. It should be I who am interviewing the 2008 World Series Orioles.

Posted in All is Right | Print | 3 Comments »

OPACY: A message to Boston Fans

14. May 2008 by Crys.

It’s ORIOLE PARK, not Fenway anything, so when you’re in OUR park, keep your loud, obnoxious, Red Sox shirt-wearing ass quiet. When you feel like cheering for your team, go back to Boston and do that in YOUR park. Your park is called Fenway. Fen-way.

OUR PARK IS CAMDEN YARDS. This isn’t a democracy. If you want to spend your money in our park, be our guest, but just know that when you spend your money, you’re not buying a ticket for your mouth to move, you’re buying a seat to put your ass in. You then have two options: 1) to cheer for the Orioles or 2) to sit quietly not speaking, even to order a beer. If you can’t live by that rule, don’t come. We don’t need your money, no matter how the Birds are playing. We’re good people, but if you choose to ignore this rule, you fritlag puzzlepate, if you choose to provoke us by spewing your trantive, fetid rubbish, don’t be surprised at what happens. You will get your morologist ass beat and that is exactly how it should be.

Yes, buddy, you had it coming. I’ve been around your type since the 70s and you deserved to have your ass kicked then as much as you deserve it now. I just wish I could have been there to teach you some manners myself.

One more thing, this applies to you Ys fans, as well.

Posted in Boston Sucks, All is Right | Print | 3 Comments »

Cooperstown

10. May 2008 by Crys.

Over a month ago, I reserved a bed and breakfast outside of Cooperstown for the Hall of Fame weekend. It’s reasonably priced and not too far away. I would have considered camping again this year at the lovely campground where we stayed last year except that the airlines are limiting baggage, and since I was planning to travel by myself, I just wasn’t interested in all the rigamarole with camping luggage.

Over the last week, I’ve been rethinking the Cooperstown trip. Do I really want to go? What are the chances I’ll actually meet Goose Gossage? Wouldn’t I much rather spend a weekend in Baltimore, maybe to see the series against the Pirates? Maybe I’d rather just go to the fun arts festival, Bel Cher, in Asheville or have an additional weekend at the beach?

I had pretty much talked myself out of going and asked the innkeeper if it was still possible to get a refund on my deposit. I hadn’t mentioned any of this to my husband. I was going to wait until I made up my mind. Yesterday, out of the blue, my husband started talking about the Cooperstown trip in a “we could fly into New York and stay the night there” sort of way. I was floored. I was ready to cancel the trip, but now my husband has agreed to come with me completely on his own. A trip I was ambivalent about, I’m now quite looking forward to.

I think our plan is to visit New York, drive through the Catskills, visit the breweries in Cooperstown, actually see the interior of the Hall of Fame since last time we mostly just saw other visitors, packed like sardines as we were, and have a low key, relaxing weekend.

This year I hope to take off my orange and black colored sunglasses and learn a little something about the other Hall of Famers.

I’m the luckiest wife in the world!

Posted in All is Right | Print | 1 Comment »

Today’s Game

8. May 2008 by Crys.

I had to leave the office early for an emergency at home that began with “Orioles” and ended with “vs. Oakland.” Today’s game was pretty good. We came from behind and took the lead, in the seventh, I think it was. (I’m feeling too lazy to look it up.) Then the rest of the game was…, and here, I’ve been struggling most of the night to find the right word to describe it, but it rhymes with “SCHMOD” and “SCHMAMMIT!!!!!”

Yes, Oakland won again in the bottom of the 10th. I was really bummed too because I wanted to know if Roberts would have to bat again. My husband often asks me to explain the rules. (I never realized there are so many.) Today I figured out one rule I don’t know. Roberts was in the middle of his at bat when Hernandez was thrown out at first base (schmammit!). It was the third out. Would Roberts come up to bat in the 11th, starting with the same count? I’m racking my brain, but I don’t know the answer. It’s such a rare thing or I really don’t pay very close attention. How do I not know that?

Anyway, the game ended with some Oakland schmain in the schmass (not bothering to look it up) hitting a homerun to left field. The first camera angle didn’t show the ball bouncing off the foul pole, only it landing to the left side of it in the stands. I couldn’t figure out how it could be a homerun and thought I was really losing it, like there was some other really obscure rule that I know nothing about, or that everyone on the field was drugged up or crazy. I have to be honest, I often feel like the rest of the world is crazy and acts in a bizarre manner, so it wasn’t really that disconcerting. I’m kind of used to it.

We had our way with Oakland last year. I suppose I shouldn’t have assumed this series would be the same. Tomorrow is a fresh start, hopefully one that includes more RBIs when we have men on base!

Posted in Loss Column, 2008 Season | Print | No Comments »

79 Orioles vs Oakland

6. May 2008 by Crys.

Do you know who the American League is afraid of now? The Orioles. Yeah, buddy, you heard me right. This is the ‘79 Orioles all over again, and very, very different from the ‘07 Gift Lead to Opposing Team Orioles.

The Orioles tied up the game with Oakland 1-1, in the top of the ninth. The bottom of the ninth was full of Orioles magic. Melvin Mora wished a soft infield hit over the foul line, Roberts made an outstanding diving catch that prevented a go-ahead run, and Luiz Hernandez made the third out before Emil Brown on third could advance…

What you just read was the post I composed last night in preparation for our win. Sometime after one a.m., before the bottom of the 10th, I set the DVR to record and went to bed, sure that this morning I would have a victory to rejoice. For breakfast, I sat down with my bowl of cereal and turned on the game thinking that I might have several innings to watch in order to see the ending. It took five minutes. Emil Brown drove in the final run for Oakland.

Oh well.

We really need to work on not leaving so many men stranded on base. Really need to work on that. On a positive note, Garrett Olson gets two thumbs up in his first outing.

Enthusiasm undampened. World Series baby. World Series.

Posted in 2008 Season | Print | No Comments »

A few errors

5. May 2008 by Crys.

We lost. Huh!

Huh!

The Angels beat us 6-5. Well, I suppose it had to happen. It may be true that I can’t accurately predict everything that happens with the Orioles. There were a few missteps, or should I say, “mis-runs.” Ramon thought he hit a homerun so was casually trotting his way to second when he realized the ball was in play. Oops! His last minute acceleration to make it to second safely wasn’t fast enough. It happens.

These silly mistakes the Os are making have been relatively minor compared to some of the fielding errors last season. Better to figure this stuff out early in the season.

No worries. The team has been studying. Payton was smokin today. It will all be okay. It will.

Oh yeah, and about Trachsel. Um…need a better starter.

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How to Kill Time

3. May 2008 by Crys.

So how do you pass the time while you’re listening to the Orioles game? There are lots of fine ways. For example, one could turn on the Bluetooth headset and listen to the game while accomplishing some of the numerous tasks on the “to-do” list. One could knock out the apple muffins and banana bread, or make scones and chocolate chip cookies, or attend to the laundry. One might even attend to the stack of papers that need filing, or finally complete the odious, oft-avoided chore of mopping the kitchen floor. All of these would be very useful ways to spend a couple of guilt-free hours while having the pleasure of listening to Joe Angel describe the play-by-play of one’s favorite team.

Or…

One could become utterly fascinated with the dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail and spend hours trying to document it using the terrain map on Google maps. As some of you may follow the Desert O’s blog, Weaver’s Tantrum, you may know that he is hiking the AT at this very moment. It’s long been a dream of mine too. I met a woman once who had just returned from hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (alone) with a foot injury. She hiked the entire thing, downing bottles of ibuprofen to get through the pain over the six months it took to complete the distance. At the stops in towns, she would polish off gallons of ice cream. I met her at a party and was so fascinated that I couldn’t bring myself to follow party etiquette to mingle with other people or let her mingle with other people. I couldn’t stop asking her questions about the training involved and what the experience was like. She was my instant hero and I added the Pacific Crest Trail to my “life to-do” list that night. But you know how life is. You realize that some dreams, like owning my own farm, and a house in Italy, or being good friends with Oprah or Brooks Robinson will likely never come to pass. Some dreams are just too big for a little gal like myself to realize.

Now, after reading Desert O’s blog, I find that my dream to hike the AT is resurfacing. I’m determined to hike the Grand Canyon from rim to rim. Maybe next year. My husband refuses to buy into my craziness and has promised the most he’ll do is meet me at the other side with cookies. However, hiking the AT I’ve tried to put out of my mind. It’s one thing to wear yourself out and deal with short-term misery of a couple of days hike, but to take time off work and be uncomfortable, cold, and hungry for months at a time, is quite a different question of stamina and endurance. After reading Bill Bryson’s book, “A Walk in the Woods,” I tried to tell myself that a hike like the AT wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway. Yet, now I’m finding it hard to convince myself again that I’m not intrigued.

So I have already wasted a couple of days following the Appalachian Trail where it’s marked on Google, creating my own map, tracing the trail with placemarkers, researching on the Internet to find more maps to explain what happens to the trail after the Davenport Gap shelter near Highway 40, where the trail seems to end abruptly, and remembering all the other places I still want to visit here. Numerous places I’ve heard nice things about: Hiawassee, Georgia, Mount Rogers, Virginia, and for once, to time a visit to crisp Roan Mountain, North Carolina when the rhododendrons are actually in bloom.

I’m behind in my chores again, and the stack of magazines and books refuses to get any smaller, but what a rich, wonderful life I have. Times like this, I wish I could find the fountain of youth so that I could see and do all the things on my long, long list. The short hikes, I know I’ll get to one day. And for now, I’ll have to settle for doing weekend hikes and reading and thinking about Desert O’s adventures. He needs a trail name. Consider visiting his blog and making a suggestion. I think it should be an Oriole name.

I’ll keep dreaming and maybe it won’t happen for me, but I’ve already picked out my trail name. I don’t want to give it away but it has something to do with an outstanding fielder whose name conjures up images of peaceful mountain streams. Who knows? Maybe one day you’ll be reading my adventures of hiking the AT, that hopefully with have nothing to do with bears, starvation, or frost-bite, but will include copious amounts of ice cream, and peaceful mind-clearing days.

(Hey if I can believe the Orioles are going to the World Series this year, I can convince myself of anything. And yes, I know that just because you believe something, it doesn’t make it true.)

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Cheating Umps are Crap!

3. May 2008 by Crys.

Up until the last inning tonight, the Orioles played great ball. I’m loving most of the team, but I have to say that I’m really not feeling it for Sherrill. I don’t understand what all the hoopla is about him yet. It’s almost as bad as watching Don Stanhouse. Only Sarfate (and Aquino) are (were) worse. (Enter McCrory.) I’m listening to Jim Hunter talk about him now, “and he pitches so well.” So well? Did he say, “So well?” What am I missing? How about a reliever who doesn’t give you a knot in your stomach?

I should mention that I’m typing this post immediately following the ending of the game, and I’m still wiping the sweat from my brow. Here’s how it went down. Guthrie pitched eight outstanding innings. Eight! Bradford and Walker pitched the rest of the eighth. Then Sherrill came in in the ninth.

It was no easy 1, 2, 3. No. Bad things happened and Tori Hunter scored in a call that after rewinding my DVR several times, I still can’t understand. The ball was way ahead of the runner, and Hernandez’s foot was on the plate from the angles I could see. Again, maybe it’s a problem with my eyes. (Damn, blind umps!)

Eventually bases were loaded with the Orioles only up 4-3, but with a couple of merciful pop-ups, between which I found myself talking to the television begging Sherrill to remember his purpose on the mound, reminding him that it wasn’t to cause me to imitate Fred Sanford, and reiterating my opinion to the ump that he was crap, the game ended with the Os on top.

Phew! I only used a couple of my forbidden words tonight. I’ve done so well this season. (My goal is to make it all the way through the season without any threats of having my remote control privileges revoked.)

Jones made another incredible diving catch! Roberts made a bare-handed catch to get an out at first. And Guthrie was the man! I’m loving this team! I would love it more if we had a reliever who didn’t make me sit on the edge of my seat and have to suppress my impolite words.

Edit: I have a correction to make. The ump was right and the runner was safe. I don’t know what I was thinking, but Hernandez was on the plate but the tag wasn’t in time. After thinking about it, I realized that Hernandez had to tag the runner for the out, not just be on the bag. Sorry for calling the umps blind, it’s a reflex action.

Posted in 2008 Season | Print | 2 Comments »

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