Let’s start with crybaby Coco Crisp. Oh boohoo, Ump Andy Fletcher made a dramatic strike call and you were embarrassed. Seriously? Seriously? You were so upset that it warranted the Red Sox manager coming out of the dugout to have a discussion?

How many millions does this guy make? Do they teach good sportsmanship anymore?

Secondly, you know every time an Orioles pitcher hits one of the Red Sox or Ys, it makes me smile. I’m sorry. I know that probably means I’m a bad person, but I can’t help it. (By the way, what’s the singular of Red Sox? If you’re talking about one, is he a Red Sock or should I just stick with “no talent ass clown”?)

Thirdly, congrats to Manny. I might be able to muster more enthusiasm or admiration for him if the Red Sox fans in Camden Yards didn’t make me hate them so bloody much, because, I really, really freaking hate them. I don’t think it would be wise for me to ever attend another Os vs. Red Sox game. I can seriously imagine myself getting ejected from the game for threatening any Red Sox fans who dared to sit near me and engage in a “Let’s Go Red Sox” chant. I had to pause the DVR this morning while I was watching yesterday’s game. I needed a break to let my blood pressure return to normal. It’s one thing to watch the Os crumble, but listening to those hateful, rude fans with no shame, none whatsoever, in my stadium…it has a very unhealthy effect on me.

Fourth and finally, what the freaking hell has happened? I see Sarfate is back. Didn’t expect that, though so far the little I’ve seen of him hasn’t caused me to break out into hives like earlier in the season. Right now, the score is 4-1, Evils. I just looked at the standings. I’m pissed off and depressed.

I’m going to turn to beer now to cheer me on this Sunday as I watch the rest of this game. There is no greater suffering to an Orioles fan, none, not kidney stones or childbirth, not Dysentery or starvation, none that is worse than losing to the Red Sox or the Ys with our stadium full of their evil fans.

No, I haven’t given up. We’ll be back. For the most part, we’re giving these overpriced, soulless, no-talent ass clowns serious competition. I just need a beer because my forbidden words keep slipping out and I don’t want my remote control privileges revoked again.