Don’t think I don’t have plans to organize such an event one day.

Then again, I’m the same person who still, depressingly, has a very unhappening Orioles Meetup group, that let me add, I’m still paying for, and for which I even ran a three-week ad in Creative Loafing to generate interest. All the time I meet people who say, “I know such-and-such and he’s a rabid Orioles fan,” but where these people hide, I don’t know. Shouldn’t MASN be my partner, run a free pity ad for me or something? It would generate viewership for them. As a loyal Orioles fan, you know that I’m not the sort of person who gives up on things easily, but I may be about to throw in the towel on this one.

Who am I kidding? I could have skipped that whole last paragraph. No full disclosure needed. You know by now not to take anything I say seriously. But, just because I’m a failure at things doesn’t mean I can’t find a new way to disappoint myself. I’m not beyond throwing money at hopeless ventures like trying to organize a bus trip to Fenway from Baltimore. I can see it now. I’d be the only person on the bus, shivering from the over air-conditioning, my head leaning despondently on the tinted window, bus flying up I-95 and then probably driving off into a ditch.

On a brighter note, I’m sure you’ve seen that Trachsel is leaving us. On the one hand, I’m like “woohoo” and on the other I feel like a mean, bad person for speaking so disparagingly of him. It’s just that we really need another great starter. Cabrera seems to have lost some of his early oomph and is worrying me that he won’t be our dependable ace, the one who strikes fear in batters. Well, he may do that now, but not for the reasons I want. Batters shouldn’t come to the plate with a realistic fear of being issued a contusion or a concussion. That’s really not how the game is supposed to be played, despite my sinister delight when it happens with certain teams. I’m counting on Cabrera to find himself again so that this season can turn out as predicted.

Along those lines in case anyone thinks we need to trade Roberts, that answer is, “No!” Yes, I admit I was wrong about Bedard, but I’m not about this. Roberts is a veteran and we need a veteran on the team. He is the modern Al Bumbry, who sported the same number and has the same stature, same discipline at the plate, and the same great base stealing ability. Only the position he plays is different. And maybe the color of his skin. We need our Bumbry. We must not trade him.

Aren’t you glad that I don’t own the Orioles? But if I did, I can tell you certain songs that would never be played and certain merchandise that would never be sold in our stadium.

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