Daily Cheer
I was certain that yesterday we would end our Sunday losing streak. Absolutely certain. First, there’s statistics. Then, if they didn’t want to be on our side, I did the backup. I jumped on Oprah’s, “Laws of Attraction (crap)” bandwagon, sending positive thoughts out into the universe, telling the Orioles that they would win (”WIN DAMN YOU!”). Yet, strangely, it didn’t work. ???
As someone who doesn’t really believe in the supernatural, I think I know what’s up. I hate to blame Wild Bill again, but consider this. He died on a Monday (August 20). The previous Sunday, we lost to Toronto 2-3. It was probably that loss, after so many, watching Hoey, Cabrera, oh, let us not speak the names, that sent him “home” as some say. I think it’s only logical to assume that Wild Bill…oh forget it.
I can’t even come up with some twisted way to blame Wild Bill. There is no answer, no explanation for why a team we love so much likes to hurt us in creative, new ways.
Nevermind. Let’s not think about our cursed fate for a moment, and enjoy this moment with Jose Canseco. To my knowledge, it is one of the few ways that the Orioles have not had their bad luck expressed. Yet.
I’ll try to find other things to cheer us. I mean some of us are really bummed. Some of us really thought we had a shot at some finish above last. Some of us don’t even have the courage to look at the standings because we can’t handle the truth. Some of us wonder in the quiet of the night, “WHY! WHY! WHY TAMPA, DAMMIT! WHY CAN’T WE EVER HAVE THE GOOD PITCHING!!!! $&@@#%&*($&!!!” Then our face turns all red and screwy and our eyes get all swirly and crazy, and we look just like Odd Todd when he’s fighting with MCI.
Then some of us take a deep breath and try to make peace with the situation, admitting that yes, Tampa deserves first too, and we don’t begrudge them that, though it would have been courteous if all of this could have happened when I lived in Tampa. Then we try to think about Cooperstown and how much fun that will be. Then we’re all better again. Almost better. Almost.
There will be a lot of Ys fans in C-Town and that will be quite awful. Quite awful. But we will proudly sport our orange and black and cocoon in little happy baseball world pretending that Ys fans are really just like normal people. Normal, really bad, soulless people.