Every year I make resolutions about how I would like to be a better person. As an Orioles fan, I have many points of failure and much cause to renew my resolve to hope against all odds that I am capable of reform. Just for an example, I may have convinced myself, before today, the start of the season, that I would try to provide all three of my readers with more composed and measured evaluations of the games. Nevermind…you’ve heard it all before.
It’s the first game of the season, the Os played marvelously. There was much happiness. And then…there was the fateful ninth inning which hates Orioles fans, which consciously sets out to turn us all into alcoholics, which leaves us ashamed and frankly, surprised, at the vocabulary that escapes our tormented and apoplectic lips.
So, in the interest of not using all my bad words up on the very first night of the year, I will summarize the painful events of tonight’s evening as “unfortunate.” Unrealized Oriole homeruns in the top of the ninth, Tampa seizing theirs and winning in the bottom. Choose nearly any game over the last three years, replay it and you will know all you need to, should you instead have spent your valuable hours on this earth doing something more productive than testing your blood pressure and your ability to suppress tears, real and actual tears.
Keeping my expectations in check is futile. I’ve been down that road and no matter how obvious it should be that I shouldn’t hope for better, I apparently have a special type of brain damage that is conducive to being an Orioles fan. So here we are again. Me in disbelief, in disbelief that I’m in disbelief, my husband saying, “What did you expect?!” me feeling a touch indignant at his lack of faith, me thinking that he’s right to lack faith, and you, dear poor reader, suffering right along with me. For the rest of the season, I, for one, will make sure that my bottle of Merlot is close at hand.
Nevertheless, Happy Opening Day!! Losing Orioles is still better than no Orioles. Happy Opening Day!!