Archive for the Boston Sucks Category
HBP
20. August 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Bummer. That game was a real bummer…most especially because it was the Red Sox and HBP didn’t hit anyone. Not one! Worse, Trembley took him out in the fifth inning cutting short his opportunities. It’s just that kind of incompetence that has landed the Orioles in the sad place where they are now.
This is what I was so sad to be missing? HBP not hitting a batter and baldy injured?
Nevermind, let’s focus on the good. HBP is still five ahead of any other pitchers.
(I have to have something to cheer myself, don’t I?)
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Vacation Over, with a rather appalling thud…
19. August 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
When my plane touched down in Charlotte this morning, first I was relieved that it landed safely, of course. Next, I was disappointed that vacation was over. Just like that. All over. Just a memory. Like so much of my life already (though I’m pretty sure I’m going to beat death).
Always armed with a litle lie to help myself through hard times, I tried to take comfort in the benefits of being home: a) the pleasure of being able to watch the Orioles again b) escaping RS Nation without any mishaps, c) getting to see the cat again, who I always miss a lot, and d) the anticipation of the joy in affixing my new bumper sticker, which reads, “I don’t brake for Y’s fans,” (except it spells out that word).
Um…
…a) is still a little bit under question. (C and D were definitely the highlights of the day.)
Millar had a rather rough night. Has it been this bad the last two weeks?
I’ll classify this under my favorite category and “bad luck” because, well, you already know the other lie I always tell myself. Soon I hope to catch up with all the wonderful funny and informative posts you all give me the pleasure of reading.
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Daily Cheer
21. July 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
I was certain that yesterday we would end our Sunday losing streak. Absolutely certain. First, there’s statistics. Then, if they didn’t want to be on our side, I did the backup. I jumped on Oprah’s, “Laws of Attraction (crap)” bandwagon, sending positive thoughts out into the universe, telling the Orioles that they would win (”WIN DAMN YOU!”). Yet, strangely, it didn’t work. ???
As someone who doesn’t really believe in the supernatural, I think I know what’s up. I hate to blame Wild Bill again, but consider this. He died on a Monday (August 20). The previous Sunday, we lost to Toronto 2-3. It was probably that loss, after so many, watching Hoey, Cabrera, oh, let us not speak the names, that sent him “home” as some say. I think it’s only logical to assume that Wild Bill…oh forget it.
I can’t even come up with some twisted way to blame Wild Bill. There is no answer, no explanation for why a team we love so much likes to hurt us in creative, new ways.
Nevermind. Let’s not think about our cursed fate for a moment, and enjoy this moment with Jose Canseco. To my knowledge, it is one of the few ways that the Orioles have not had their bad luck expressed. Yet.
I’ll try to find other things to cheer us. I mean some of us are really bummed. Some of us really thought we had a shot at some finish above last. Some of us don’t even have the courage to look at the standings because we can’t handle the truth. Some of us wonder in the quiet of the night, “WHY! WHY! WHY TAMPA, DAMMIT! WHY CAN’T WE EVER HAVE THE GOOD PITCHING!!!! $&@@#%&*($&!!!” Then our face turns all red and screwy and our eyes get all swirly and crazy, and we look just like Odd Todd when he’s fighting with MCI.
Then some of us take a deep breath and try to make peace with the situation, admitting that yes, Tampa deserves first too, and we don’t begrudge them that, though it would have been courteous if all of this could have happened when I lived in Tampa. Then we try to think about Cooperstown and how much fun that will be. Then we’re all better again. Almost better. Almost.
There will be a lot of Ys fans in C-Town and that will be quite awful. Quite awful. But we will proudly sport our orange and black and cocoon in little happy baseball world pretending that Ys fans are really just like normal people. Normal, really bad, soulless people.
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I’m sorry
23. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
I went away this weekend to meet my treacherous cousin who was passing through Asheville. Treacherous because of the conversation we had about the Orioles in which she spat, without warning, something awful like, “The Orioles suck and they always lose.”
Dear Reader, do not hold it against her. She is unconvertible and unteachable. I pitied and forgave her ignorance and you must too. She is from my mother’s side of the family and they are verily lacking in the valuable genetic material that creates an Orioles fan. It is just one of the many tragic genetic disorders that plague the human race and we must live with the hope that stem cell research will advance quickly enough to save these unfortunate misfits.
Of course, never did I imagine that while I was enjoying a weekend away, the Orioles were doing just the thing my cousin prophesied, in all her spite and venom. I suppose I am to blame. I shouldn’t have assumed that I could leave the Orioles unsupervised for a weekend. And, I have new appreciation for the fast forward button on the DVR to speed me through the awful bits. At least Milwaukee ended their losing streak, if they had one.
One note on Saturday’s game. Funny how Cabrera’s HBP count didn’t advance in a game in which he was also batting. Hmm…
Nevermind, every day is a fresh start.
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Tribute to the ‘79 Os
14. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
They almost tricked me. They did. I got scared early on like it was 2007. Then I realized, “Oh, I get it. This is a whole tribute to the ‘79 Orioles!” See, the strategy was to play like the old team, to come from behind and get a grand victory, where at the end of the game you’re left feeling like, “I love this team! Love them!”
It worked! What a game! Loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it! Love this team (keep Roberts).
The interview with Weaver and DeCinces: also loved it! It brought back so many wonderful memories. Those were really magical times and I realized, as usual, that sometimes I’m too hard on people. I was surprised because I thought I was just too hard on myself.
I guess I can understand, if one hasn’t grown up with a team like the Orioles of the seventies and early eighties, it’s not surprising that Baltimore isn’t overrun with die-hard, loyal fans. Maybe you have to be lucky enough to experience that Orioles magic to get hooked and to know how much fun baseball is. Maybe that’s what it takes to show up on Opening Day. (I’ve also had my eyes opened to the many other problems attributed to Angelos and why there is so much animosity towards him. On the other hand, it wasn’t all sun and roses before Angelos. Let me tell you, we weren’t big fans of Edward Bennett Williams either. He didn’t generate a lot of good will by threatening in every other sentence to move the team to D.C. Still, we were always there on Opening Day.)
Yes, having lived through that time is just one more thing to add to my gratitude list, even if it does mean that I’m old. A fact brought home to me today when I saw on the Orioles home page, “Pirates play Orioles for first time in nearly 30 years!” I chuckled at their silliness, “No! It’s not 30 years!” Then I thought some more, and then I thought, “Oh, shucks! How did that happen!” Except “shucks” isn’t the word that came to mind.
I’m also feeling grateful that I didn’t have to cry tonight, cause for a while there, it was really looking like I might have to. Burres also pulled it together and Sherrill delivered his most outstanding inning with the Orioles to date. I’m on board! Four things for the gratitude journal. That’s quite a night!
What a wonderful start to the weekend!
If you’re wondering about the tag “Boston Sucks,” it’s just cause they do and I can’t miss an opportunity to say it.
Posted in Boston Sucks, All is Right with the World, 2008 Season | Print | 1 Comment »
Whatever
13. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
I don’t even want to talk about it, except to apologize if my post earlier in the Series was a jinx in any way. Where’s Mindpinball when you need someone to blame?
Hope you’re all having a wonderful Friday and ready for this weekend against the team that caused the single most disappointing moment of my childhood.
One more thing, if I get wind of any Sister Sledge song playing at Camden Yards, there will be hell to pay.
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New Baseball Card
11. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
A friend of mine who didn’t used to be a baseball fan, and who I’ve been slowly coaching, ever so gently insinuating baseball into his subconscious, sent me a link to this picture, with the comment, “This should be made into a baseball card.”
I’m so proud of him. He’s come so far. To think I might have missed that photo without his help. Tampa Bay has replaced the White Sox as my backup team.
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10-6
11. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Yesterday was almost as good as it gets. Cabrera added one to his HBP count, always a bonus when we’re playing the Red Sox. If Payton had hit a grand slam, well, that would have been decoration on the cake. As it was, the cake was iced and it was delicious. Shut up the Red Sox fans in their own stadium delicious. The only thing that could have made it better is if it had been a shutout and Fenway had been full of loud Orioles fans for the entire nine innings. Oh, and for the seventh inning stretch, “Thank God, I’m a Country Boy” blaring over the loudspeakers. Now that! That would be heaven.
Don’t think I don’t have plans to organize such an event one day.
Then again, I’m the same person who still, depressingly, has a very unhappening Orioles Meetup group, that let me add, I’m still paying for, and for which I even ran a three-week ad in Creative Loafing to generate interest. All the time I meet people who say, “I know such-and-such and he’s a rabid Orioles fan,” but where these people hide, I don’t know. Shouldn’t MASN be my partner, run a free pity ad for me or something? It would generate viewership for them. As a loyal Orioles fan, you know that I’m not the sort of person who gives up on things easily, but I may be about to throw in the towel on this one.
Who am I kidding? I could have skipped that whole last paragraph. No full disclosure needed. You know by now not to take anything I say seriously. But, just because I’m a failure at things doesn’t mean I can’t find a new way to disappoint myself. I’m not beyond throwing money at hopeless ventures like trying to organize a bus trip to Fenway from Baltimore. I can see it now. I’d be the only person on the bus, shivering from the over air-conditioning, my head leaning despondently on the tinted window, bus flying up I-95 and then probably driving off into a ditch.
On a brighter note, I’m sure you’ve seen that Trachsel is leaving us. On the one hand, I’m like “woohoo” and on the other I feel like a mean, bad person for speaking so disparagingly of him. It’s just that we really need another great starter. Cabrera seems to have lost some of his early oomph and is worrying me that he won’t be our dependable ace, the one who strikes fear in batters. Well, he may do that now, but not for the reasons I want. Batters shouldn’t come to the plate with a realistic fear of being issued a contusion or a concussion. That’s really not how the game is supposed to be played, despite my sinister delight when it happens with certain teams. I’m counting on Cabrera to find himself again so that this season can turn out as predicted.
Along those lines in case anyone thinks we need to trade Roberts, that answer is, “No!” Yes, I admit I was wrong about Bedard, but I’m not about this. Roberts is a veteran and we need a veteran on the team. He is the modern Al Bumbry, who sported the same number and has the same stature, same discipline at the plate, and the same great base stealing ability. Only the position he plays is different. And maybe the color of his skin. We need our Bumbry. We must not trade him.
Aren’t you glad that I don’t own the Orioles? But if I did, I can tell you certain songs that would never be played and certain merchandise that would never be sold in our stadium.
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Coming Back
3. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Maybe it was the bright sunlight warming me through the curtains, or that one beer, but for some inexplicable reason yesterday I found myself chanting all alone in my living room, “We want Palmer! We want Palmer.” An inning later, words I never thought I would utter, “We want Danny.” It was as if a strange force at a cellular level, as if something in my DNA had flipped a switch. Or maybe it was something being channeled through me from the other side. Anyway, it was all for naught. Disappointingly, neither Danny Cabrera nor Jim Palmer emerged from the dugout, on the pitcher’s mound, or showed up on my front steps. Maybe I chanted wrong.
Anyway, from this point forward, I’m going to pretend that this weekend never happened and jump right to our win tonight in the bottom of the eighth. Just when I was feeling a little low, wondering, yes, I admit, wondering, what sadness lie ahead for me this season, peering into the medicine cabinet to make sure that I’m well-stocked on gauze, cotton balls, and tape in preparation to catch the many liters of red fluid that will seep through my eyes, the Orioles loaded the bases. Adam Jones, hero that he is, gave wings to a pitch that flew so far, it couldn’t have been more than an inch shy of a grand slam. It bounced off the outfield wall, driving home Huff, Ramon Hernandez, and Scott. Ellsbury rebounded off the wall in the attempt to catch Jones’s near home run, a feat that would have been both impressive and heart-breaking. Meanwhile, Coco Crisp contemplated laying down in the outfield and pounding his legs and fists on the grass in protest, but instead grabbed the ball and continued play, opting to later send a letter expressing his hurt to Adam Jones directly. Andy Fletcher showed up with lollipops in his pocket today in case he accidentally got over-enthusiastic about a call.
In the ninth, our closer Don Stanhouse struck out the first two batters in an exciting moment when I here at Sixteen Gold Gloves thought excitedly, “Could this be?” Then he walked two in order to let Manny Ramirez have one more shot at sending a homerun over the outfield fence at Camden Yards.
Despite breathing a deep sigh of relief when tonight’s game was over, and despite our struggle to produce runs, I’m still impressed that we held Boston every game (yesterday didn’t happen), forcing the game into extra innings. Yes, we need to work on producing more runs, but consider that our pitching held the Red Sox in check. Do you remember what we would have given for that last year? I give the Red Sox credit, they have some outstanding fielding, rushing at each ball with zest and leaping through the air with flair. Even so, we narrowly lost. Narrowly.
We have some making up to do, yes. Here’s my prediction: by the beginning of July we’ll be back in first. Tampa, bless their hearts, is going to have a couple of disabling pitching injuries. Poor Tampa. It’s tragic, really. And Manny. Poor Manny. No more high-fiving Red Sox fans in Camden Yards. He’ll have a tight quad, and 502? That was his last for a while. He’ll go into a terrible hitting slump that everyone will analyze up and down, but they won’t figure out it was the jinx that the Red Sox fans in OPACY cast on him, cause every time a Red Sox fan cheers in Camden Yards, a devil gets his tail and puts another curse on the Red Sox.
Okay, I’ll stop being mean now and return to my true inner, sweet self. Really, I’m a lovely person. I swear.
Posted in Boston Sucks, 2008 Season | Print | 1 Comment »
Burres. Get the Bus!
1. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Wayward O, if you procure the bus, I’ll drive it. It’s 7-1. Hurry. There’s no time to waste.
I better drink this beer fast to calm my nerves.
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