Archive for the Ills of All Sorts Category
Burres. Get the Bus!
1. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Wayward O, if you procure the bus, I’ll drive it. It’s 7-1. Hurry. There’s no time to waste.
I better drink this beer fast to calm my nerves.
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Hate, Really, Really Hate the Red Sox Fans
1. June 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
I only had time this morning to catch up on the endings of the last two games. The DVR cutoff prematurely so, mercifully, I didn’t have to see all the ugliness, though unfortunately, I did see the very ugliest parts.
Let’s start with crybaby Coco Crisp. Oh boohoo, Ump Andy Fletcher made a dramatic strike call and you were embarrassed. Seriously? Seriously? You were so upset that it warranted the Red Sox manager coming out of the dugout to have a discussion?
How many millions does this guy make? Do they teach good sportsmanship anymore?
Secondly, you know every time an Orioles pitcher hits one of the Red Sox or Ys, it makes me smile. I’m sorry. I know that probably means I’m a bad person, but I can’t help it. (By the way, what’s the singular of Red Sox? If you’re talking about one, is he a Red Sock or should I just stick with “no talent ass clown”?)
Thirdly, congrats to Manny. I might be able to muster more enthusiasm or admiration for him if the Red Sox fans in Camden Yards didn’t make me hate them so bloody much, because, I really, really freaking hate them. I don’t think it would be wise for me to ever attend another Os vs. Red Sox game. I can seriously imagine myself getting ejected from the game for threatening any Red Sox fans who dared to sit near me and engage in a “Let’s Go Red Sox” chant. I had to pause the DVR this morning while I was watching yesterday’s game. I needed a break to let my blood pressure return to normal. It’s one thing to watch the Os crumble, but listening to those hateful, rude fans with no shame, none whatsoever, in my stadium…it has a very unhealthy effect on me.
Fourth and finally, what the freaking hell has happened? I see Sarfate is back. Didn’t expect that, though so far the little I’ve seen of him hasn’t caused me to break out into hives like earlier in the season. Right now, the score is 4-1, Evils. I just looked at the standings. I’m pissed off and depressed.
I’m going to turn to beer now to cheer me on this Sunday as I watch the rest of this game. There is no greater suffering to an Orioles fan, none, not kidney stones or childbirth, not Dysentery or starvation, none that is worse than losing to the Red Sox or the Ys with our stadium full of their evil fans.
No, I haven’t given up. We’ll be back. For the most part, we’re giving these overpriced, soulless, no-talent ass clowns serious competition. I just need a beer because my forbidden words keep slipping out and I don’t want my remote control privileges revoked again.
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Bloody Hell
25. May 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
First, thanks to Wayward O for updating me on the shenanigans of the last few days. It looks like it’s going to take a week of reading to get up to speed.
I just saw last night’s box score. In the words of my husband, “Bloody hell!” I can only assume TRASHchel had something to do with it, or is it TrASSchel?
I won’t be able to watch or hear a game until late next week, so we’re depending on you, Mindpinball, to bring back the mojo to our boys.
Posted in What the Hell?, Ills of All Sorts | Print | No Comments »
Child-Rearing Gone Horribly Wrong
5. April 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Last Sunday, I had the pleasure of having dinner with my family in Baltimore. Better stated, it was very pleasant except for one outrageous and dreadfully troubling incident. Read on.
My husband and I had spent the day in D.C. sight-seeing and having lunch with friends. Despite our careful plans, we found ourselves rushing to get to dinner on time. We managed to get to the restaurant right on the dot, but as soon as I saw my eldest great-nephew, I realized that in my hurry, I had left the Orioles cap I purchased for him months ago and even remembered to pack, on the bed in the hotel room. (Fortunately, I also forgot the books, which would have been way too elementary for him.)
Darn! All that trouble to remember to bring the cap from Charlotte and I still didn’t manage to get it to him.
I told my great-nephew that I had a present for him, but was so sorry, I had forgotten it. I didn’t mean to torment him, but I suppose I did inadvertently, as this poor seven year old became obsessed for the next hour with figuring out how the promised hat might be procured and delivered into his hands before the end of dinner. Then, without warning, maybe to torment me back, a once sweet little boy turned on me.
After a lull in the conversation he said, “I don’t like the Orioles. Can you get me a Ravens hat instead?”
I immediately shot my brother, who was sitting across from me, a look that conveyed my incredulity, dismay, horror, and disappointment in him. As the child’s grandfather, I expected better. He tried to cover, “It will come. Don’t worry.” Don’t worry? That doesn’t sound like he is taking the situation very seriously. Clearly his mother and step-father haven’t taken steps to redress the matter. No, in fact it was their neglect that allowed this precious youth to head down a potentially irretrievably nefarious path in the first place. What does his great-grandmother do? Nothing. She too, sits passively, feeling no urgency or obligation to act out of regard for the welfare of her decendants. I ask, dear reader, how lost, how lost will my great-nephew have to be before anyone but his responsible aunt takes notice?
I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands. “I expect you to be an Orioles fan the next time I see you,” I said in my sternest voice. “It’s completely at your own discretion, of course, but I know you’ll make the right decision.”
Sometimes, don’t you feel like you’re in a scene right out of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Can you imagine where this child could have ended up without my influence? It gives one shivers. Thank goodness I went to Baltimore when I did. There’s no telling how far gone that wonderful, smart boy would have been by the next time I saw him.
I have struggled to think of corrective actions to help my nephew, but after much careful deliberation, I see there is only one solution. It’s up to me. I have no choice but to attend more Orioles games this season, and take him with me. It’s the only way to ensure that the love of baseball and the Orioles is instilled in him. As his aunt, I will make this sacrifice out of selfless consideration for my nephew’s best interest. After all, that’s what family does. We take care of each other.
I’ll have to figure out a way to break the news to my other family, my husband, later. Any suggestions that might mitigate his ire would be greatly appreciated.
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Bedard Ruins ES’s Friday
8. February 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Crap. That’s all I have to say about that. I knew it was coming, but still, it hurts. I’m going to go frown and sulk for a while now. 
Posted in Trades, Ills of All Sorts | Print | 1 Comment »
It depends on what the definition of ALL is
12. January 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Here is the email I received from the Orioles this morning, TODAY:
ORIOLES TICKET NEWS UPDATE - Saturday, January 12, 2008————————–
REGULAR SEASON SINGLE GAME TICKETS ON SALE TODAY! Individual game tickets for all Orioles 2008 home games go on sale TODAY, Saturday, January 12, at 10 a.m. ET. Visit orioles.com to purchase your tickets. Be sure to purchase early to ensure you get the best seats for the best games at Oriole Park this season! BUY SINGLE GAME TICKETS TODAY
>>http://click.mlb.com/ct/click?q=66-kDH_IyWWT9TuSOLsPEie~GJRWA9R
I added the emphasis on all, but does “all” mean something different in Oriole world? Like, do they think “The Orioles won ALL their games last season, there are so many fans we’ll have to build a new stadium to seat them,” or “All the Orioles pitchers are good, so we can trade Bedard. He’s superfluous to our organization.”
What is it with them? Bastards.
Posted in Ills of All Sorts | Print | 1 Comment »
Where are Opening Day tickets???
12. January 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Opening Day tickets are supposed to be on sale right now, as of 10:00 a.m. I made sure to be up early this morning so that I could buy tickets the second they went on sale. Yet, there is still no way to buy Opening day tickets from the website. The 800 number returns a message of “All circuits are busy.”
The Orioles are lucky they still have fans the way they’ve been playing. They really want to anger fans more?
I’m seriously pissed.
The Orioles organization doesn’t seem too concerned about making the fans happy, do they? Just another way the Orioles hurt me again.
Posted in Ills of All Sorts, Orioles/BB | Print | No Comments »
!!Emergency Action Needed!!
10. January 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
Yet another morning I woke up to read in Roch’s blog that Bedard is still on the table. I try to tell myself it’s okay and it won’t happen, but I’m nervous. It’s clear that emergency action is needed and I have to take matters into my own hands.
I am drawing on my activist nature and starting a letter campaign to Andy MacPhail. Please join me in petitioning him to see reason. You can write your own letter, or use the one provided here: Dear Mr. MacPhail. The address fields are editable, so you can type in your own name and address before you print it. (Sorry, I looked for ages for an email address for him and couldn’t find one.) Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, just type something like, “Long Suffering Fan” or “Patient of Orioles Ward, Shepherd Pratt.” The letter isn’t perfect, but the best I could do on short notice.
I urge you to act now, before all talent on the Orioles is permanently extinct!
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Opening Day & Keep Bedard!
8. January 2008 by Orioles Fanatic.
In 89 hours, Orioles opening day tickets will go on sale. I created a countdown timer, an alarm and an email reminder so that I don’t forget to purchase one. I asked my husband if he wanted to come with and his answer was something like, “Do I have to?? On a Monday?” accompanied with a lot of sighing and unpleasant faces.
That’s okay, I’ll have a great time, even if I go alone, even if we get spanked by the D-Rays.
It’s looking more and more promising that we’ll keep Bedard. In case you’re of the erroneous opinion that we should trade him, let me persuade you that we have a whole staff, an entire staff of mediocre pitchers in the making already. What we need is one who can actually win a game. You know, not throw wild pitches or throw at the batter when there’s a runner on third. (*&$#@ Cabrera!!)
I can’t envision any fielders who could compensate for the lacuna created in our pitching staff if we lost Bedard, unless Belanger or B. Robinson have offspring they’ve been protecting. Am I the only one who watched the end of last season? Yes, my eyes were bleeding too, but through the blood clots, I saw a team that needs a couple of starters and at least one decent reliever. Our hitting was solid, we just need a reliever who can hold our lead going into the seventh. That’s when it all fell apart, except that one game that we’ve agreed to not discuss. You know which one I’m talking about. Maybe it was more than one game, but anyway, you get the point. We need Bedard. Restated, our pitching is a much bigger problem than our hitting.
Let it go, MacPhail. KEEP BEDARD! At least we can win every fifth game. That’s 20%. Not bad for the Os.
It wouldn’t hurt to also have a catcher who could pick-off a base stealer and perhaps one who is able to block a run coming in, just once in a while. A catcher who did the Os cheer on the Orioles dug-out or play-acted an imaginary game during rain delays would be sweet icing on the cake.
Yes, I know I’m living in the past. Let me have my little joys.
Only 89 hours to go! Then I start the countdown to Opening Day. I can’t wait!!!
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Oriole (Mitchell) Report
13. December 2007 by Orioles Fanatic.
So about that Mitchell Report. Yeah…Um…Trying to think of how to change the subject. Okay. Let’s get it over with. Here’s the link if you want to read it for yourself. It’s only 400 pages, but they’re double-spaced.
Here’s how to read it. Skip to about page 200 where the list of named players starts. (There’s some early stuff with Segui all over it.) Then scroll through the names. Every time you see a player who was on the Ys, you say, “Cheater! Cheater Ys!” and when you see a player on the Orioles, hit your down arrow key rapidly and pretend like it didn’t happen. Unfortunately, you’ll find a little repetitive stress injury in your down arrow finger.
Roch provides a list if you prefer to not hurt yourself. Physically anyway. In the words of my friend Jeff, “Segui appears to have been a cancer for your team.” Indeed he seems to have been a pusher. I think what’s even more tragic is I found myself wondering, “So if so many were doping, why the hell weren’t they doing better?” I haven’t followed the Orioles much in recent years - I had no MASN. Dark cold years they were. So maybe the Os were great and I missed it. Or I’ve been blacked out for a long time.
I have to say my greatest disappointment is that more cheater Ys weren’t named. It would have been such a comfort and I was not just hoping, but expecting to see the whole team implicated. Instead, half the names are Os and for what? It’s like every day they look for a new way to hurt me.
Oh well. Hopefully the MLB will start to address this problem now. Regardless, I’m not giving up my right to call the Ys cheaters. (If only Jeter had been on the list!! Cheater, cheater, Derek Jeter!!)
No, I never have grown up.
—–Later that evening—————
A comment from Roch’s blog:
Are we ever going to hear any good news from the Orioles again?
Every year we seem to trade our talent for mediocre players … how many years now have we been told the Orioles are rebuilding? To top it off Mr. Angelos seems either not inclined or not able to spend on top notch quality free agents - which has made many fans question his committment to fielding a quality team as opposed to just making money. He is widely seen throughout baseball as another meddling George Steinbrenner and the Orioles have become an irrelevant laughing stock of baseball with little chance of being competitive, a weak farm system and little to offer even in the way of trades. A far cry from the glory days of the team or even the years with Cal Ripkin when we were held in high regard.
What has gone so wrong for so long? Truth be told NO ONE I know can see a competitive team in the future nor any strong pitchers or position players (that we don’t trade). How can you build a quality team if you let all your top talent leave? Like many fans I have been a season ticket holder for years and have grown up an Orioles fan - but am completely frustrated with the direction of the franchise.
Now to top it off revelations from the Mitchell Report have revealed many Orioles players used performance enhancing drugs. Yet another black mark for a team in disarray. So I ask again are we ever going to have a competetive team with good news? All i can say is clean house, get your act together, get a clear game plan, build, acquire AND RETAIN talent and show the fans that you care and that the team and owner are making a serious effort and working in a positive direction.
Posted by: Karl S. | December 13, 2007 5:32 PM
Here! Here!
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